My Wedding - Some Crazy Advice
I have alot of people ask me about my wedding. Any tips I can suggest or advice I can offer and I always try my best.
But to be completely honest there are so many things I would do differently! I am very non traditional and always love out of the norm shenanigans but when it came to planning my own wedding I seemed to have fallen into an abyss of "tradition". I tried to fight it in the beginning but it seemed the more I fought for the unique options the more I was talked out of it or simply asked "why would you do that for?" or "that's not how its traditionally done" and I feel as though the idea of a Wedding had such a conventional stigma around it that it was embedded in my sub-conscious from forever ago.
I wish I had the balls back then to say no, or I want or but I can, because that's exactly what I would do today.
So what would I do differently?
First up, Bye Bye Bridal party!!
Think I am crazy yet? Just hear me out. I had my two sisters and my Husband had his brother and BF while they were great with no dramas I feel it was *cough* un-necessary *cough*.
They were fun and helpful but other than the ceremony portion of the day they were pretty much left to the sidelines which I felt a little odd about. I would have rather them been guests and for them to able to fully relax. I understand this may not be everyone's cup of tea but to me its about the Bride and Groom no-one else...which leads me to my next point;
Getting Ready Together...
Ok ok, I know, I know "traditionally" the Groom isn't meant to see the Bride before the ceremony...what a load of BS. We are always told this, mainly by meaning-to-do-well Aunties but seriously? Or what the boogie man will come and put a curse on our marriage? Pfft...
By the time Grant and I got married we had only spent a handful of nights apart and on the night before this epic day we are meant to sleep alone? I dont know about you ladies but I didnt get a wink in and I feel that was because I was alone. I wanted him by my side like every other night. I wanted to wake up next to him and say today is the day!! So hell yeah I would live on the edge just like when I read those chain letters and not forward them on and spend the night with my man!
Include the Groom, he is getting married too...
Another reason I would kick out my bridal party and spend the night before with my lover man is because its about him to you know?!
I feel like the wedding day is so focused on the Bride, and the Groom is simply "there" or the old one "he just goes with whatever I say".
Although guys may not be that into the planning and all the pretties the day is also for him so this is why I would choose to get ready with him.
I could imagine the fun and excitement building as we both got dressed together. I could help him fix his hair, he can zip up or help me with my dress, we can have a drink together and calm our tits before this amazing moment.
Ok so this one definitely isn't for everyone and as much as I loved having my Dad walk me down the aisle I would switch it up and walk down with Grant.
Everyone is always so anxious to see what the Bride is wearing and is so focused on her they forget this is such a moment for the Groom as well and for this reason I would go hand in hand with my best friend down the aisle.
I would want to walk side by side with Grant down to the alter to some kind of pumpin' tune, something along the lines of 50 Cent - In Da Club (its a classic)!!!
Keep it Simple...
When it comes to the Ceremony and Reception I say less is more. An open field or gardens filled with blankets, chairs, tubs of booze and some kind of epic food van or mobile pizza oven and I would be set!
We had a very traditional sit down meal and while it was great it didn't feel warm. More like a communal eating hall decorated to the nines...Why not get everything started earlier. Skip the routine of endless speeches and the task of eating as fast as you can just so you can walk around the room and talk to everyone just jump right into the crowd and the fun with less fuss.
A few people I have spoken to about what I would do differently simply say to me "you know it's not a party" or "if you are skipping all the traditional things what's the point" the point is I would be doing it my way and at the end of the day no matter how I did it I would end up married and that is the most important thing.
My number 1 advice...
DO IT YOUR WAY!!! Dont feel pressured to succumb to the "norm" or what everyone else does. Do you. Be true to who you are as a couple. Even if that means running away to elope or putting on the most extravagant event ever don't let people dictate this day for you...because its all for two people...You and your Boo